Biblical womanhood is not a list of prohibitions, but rather an invitation into one of the most dignified and purposeful callings God has placed on any human life. In a culture that is constantly redefining what it means to be a woman, Scripture offers something much more stable: a picture of womanhood that is rooted in grace, strength, and an unshakable identity in Christ.
First, God wants all people, male and female, to be saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. Throughout all of our lives, we should be working to become more like Christ. Both sexes are equal and created in God’s image but God did give each gender unique characteristics that enhance our own abilities. Sin likewise creates different barriers for us and has different effects on men and women. There is a lot in the Bible about the pursuit of virtue for men and women.
Let’s look at these biblical instructions for women.
Attitude
Biblical womanhood is rooted in a spirit of modesty, gentleness, love, and quiet self-sufficiency—qualities that run completely counter to the grain of today’s self-centered culture. Today’s media and culture celebrate selfishness, and it’s all about me. But we have to get out of that mentality and into one of love and service as children of God.
Our beauty is “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” (1 Peter 3:3–4). A Christian woman works very hard and enjoys serving her husband and children and family (Proverbs 31:13-17, 27), but she does not grumble (Philippians 2:14).
It is important for single teenage girls to have a humble and selfless attitude. We should always want intelligence, and we should be discerning in our decisions (Psalm 119:125; 1 Corinthians 2:14; James 1:5). Proverbs 31:20–26 tells us to be kind and to help those in need, not just to our loved ones. This will get you ready to be a wife to your future spouse and a mother to your children if you choose to get married in the future.
“Serve as wife” does not mean that spouses are slaves to their husbands. The Bible is very clear that spouses are equal, the same way God and Christ are. In God’s perfect marriage, men and women simply have different roles (Ephesians 5:21-33).
Beauty
Back to 1 Peter 3, and we see that inner beauty is far more desirable than outer beauty. That means we should put our hearts and inner beauty first, before the latest hairstyles, makeup, jewelry or designer clothes.
I want to be clear that there is nothing wrong with deciding to wear pretty clothes or putting on hair or makeup so you look good. The problem is when we value outward appearance more than heart purification. When we let these things come between us and our relationships with the Lord and with others, we are idolizing our appearance.
It’s kind of a balance, because God calls us to honor our bodies and to dress modestly (1 Timothy 2:9–10). We are to represent Christ in the best way we can, but we do not have to be obsessed with appearances. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel and look good, we shouldn’t try to conform to the world’s fashion standards in order to impress people or gain their approval. Biblical womanhood places a woman’s worth in how God has already declared her—beloved, chosen, and made in His image, not in how the world sees her.
Our sense of fulfillment, love, or value should never be based on the world’s perception of beauty or our own physical attractiveness. Instead, we should feel more secure and worthy, knowing that we are the beloved chosen daughters of God, loved unconditionally by the creator of the universe. The world couldn’t contain that feeling for a million years.
A call
Ultimately, biblical womanhood is a calling—a woman who understands this knows that she is on God’s mission and has a role that is irreplaceable in His eternal plan (Hebrews 12:1-2). A virtuous woman doesn’t allow herself to get sucked into the turmoil and hatred of the world or get sidetracked from carrying out her calling (Romans 12:2). She doesn’t lie (Colossians 3:9), gossip, or talk recklessly (Proverbs 16:28, 21:23), and she avoids obsessive boy insanity. She is wise in the use of her time (Prov. 31:27). Her words of wisdom, affirmation, and optimism uplift, support, and love. She is aware of the pain that slander, insults, and degrading words cause and does not use them (Ephesians 4:29; Colossians 3:8).
Dating
Biblical womanhood is purpose-driven in its clear and counter-culture stance on dating. It’s not a sin to be attracted to someone, and it’s not wrong to be closer friends with someone of the other gender. But a godly woman walks in godly womanhood dates to marry, not for momentary pleasure or emotional convenience. A virtuous lady doesn’t date “for the fun” or for momentary pleasures. “Self-gratification dating” is unhealthy and can be unfair to both parties.
The Bible teaches it is God’s will for believers to marry other believers, to seek a relationship with God first (2 Corinthians 6:14-18), and to remain sexually pure outside marriage (1 Corinthians 6:12-20). If you have been involved in sexual sin before, don’t lose heart. And you can be forgiven, and it is never too late for you to turn from that sin. That said, it’s also quite appropriate to stay single. The apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8 says: “I wish that all men were as I am.” But each man has his own gift from God. One has this gift, another has that. I tell widows and single people to remain single, as I am. “Being single is a gift from God and being married is another gift from God,” he says. Both are part of the godly life and can lead to fulfillment. Being unmarried, Paul could devote all of his energy to the propagation of the gospel without having to worry about providing for a family.
Feelings
Genetically, we girls are more likely to be sensitive to our emotions than our male counterparts. We have been given feelings that enable us to be good, generous, loving, and compassionate. A godly woman might feel strong emotions, but she does not allow her emotions to rule her actions and her life. Instead, she knows by eating God’s Word and His Truth (Philippians 1:9–10). Instead of responding to the world with her raw, impulsive emotional reaction, she finds a middle ground between reasoned judgment and an understanding of her feelings.
The enemy would love to defeat us but we have to take control of our ideas and make them submit to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). If we can develop more mental discipline, it will be easier for us to live a virtuous life. In the same way, godly women devote themselves to prayer (Colossians 4:2) and forgive others as Christ has forgiven us (Colossians 3:12–13). In Ephesians 4:26-31-32, a Christian woman does not harbor bitterness, hold resentment, or let anger control her heart.
Read Also: Biblical Masculinity: What the Bible Says About Being a Godly Man
God has sent the Holy Spirit to be a guide for the people who have received Christ as their Savior. If we live according to God’s will (Luke 10:27), God makes us more like Christ. If you have not accepted Christ as your Savior, please consider this important decision.
It will be hard to live a holy life because sin will always be there and it will be a weakness. But we also have the Holy Spirit, so we don’t have to choose to sin anymore. If we desire to be godly, God will do His good work in us. Stay in tune with the Lord by praying, reading the Bible and being around godly women you respect.
If you are still finding your footing in biblical womanhood, Proverbs 31:10–31 is an excellent place to start—a portrait of a virtuous woman that is as relevant today as it was when Solomon penned it. The Bible also highlights Sarah, Ruth, Esther, and Mary as women who walked faithfully with God in vastly different circumstances. Their stories are a testament that God equips every woman He calls, and He will equip you too.
You just have to follow the Lord, who has the best life possible planned for you. It won’t be an easy road, I promise you that. But it will be worth it.
